Are You And Your Spouse on the Same Wavelength with Your Trading? It Can Take a Toll if Not

Forget whether you and your spouse are on the same wavelength regarding retirement savings. What about your trading activities? As you and your spouse know all too well, trader earnings have their ups and downs. 

If your spouse is a woman, know that women choose a more risk-averse path when investing than men, according to the Harvard Business Review. They take fewer risks when picking stocks, investing in venture capital and in other seemingly "risky" behavior. Science says that when men hear the word "risk," they often equate it with making money. On the other hand, when women hear the word "risk," they're more inclined to believe there's more of an opportunity to lose money.

Why? Does it go back to stereotypes of men as Vikings, women as nurturing caregivers? That men tend to have more sensation-seeking personalities and enjoy risk? It's a possibility, according to Harvard Business Review.

Let's assume your wife is the spouse in question, though this could apply to any gender. The reality: Trading can take a toll on spouses and marriages, so make sure you're both on the same wavelength. Here's how.

Clue Your Spouse in on Your Safety Nets

You always implement ways to mitigate risk when you're trading, but for all your wife knows, you're losing millions every day. Why not clue her in on how you manage the size of your trades, how you use a stop order and only trade markets that you know? You also share with her how you avoid volatile trading sessions and journal extensively to keep track of your trades. Your careful analysis of your errors continually makes you a better trader. 

Even if she's more conservative with money, remember that she's likely to fear what you're doing because she doesn't understand it. 

Share How Inflation Kills Returns

If your wife understands anything about the stock market, she's going to know that inflation puts a real stranglehold on growth.

Too much exposure to cash and fixed-rate return investments such as bonds can erode your portfolio and, unfortunately, can become a bonafide way to actually lose money. Your trading efforts try to sustain your portfolio beyond making money — you do trade in an attempt to avoid inflation, the silent killer. (And yes, make lots of money in the process.)

Address the Irregularity of Earnings

You may have no idea how much your spouse worries about the fact that you don't have a regular, predictable earnings stream. 

Completely the opposite of a fixed salary and employee benefits, a trading gig can ensure massively irregular earnings. Self-employed and independent traders don't rake in a 401(k) match or other benefits. This can significantly shore up the risk and uncertainty for family income. While you may get excited about this type of work environment, your spouse may feel completely different about the situation.

Each partner has different needs and each wants those needs manifested in different ways. You may consider telling your spouse that you have an earnings goal every month. You may also want to share a plan for what should happen if these goals never materialize. "If in six months, I haven't found the secret to trading successfully, I'll do X." 

Furthermore, assure your spouse of an ample emergency fund — and if you don't have one, get one built up, pronto. 

Address Your Spouse's Perceived Control

One factor has shown up over and over again in many studies conducted over the past 50 years about physical and psychological well-being: Studies suggest that a lack of perceived control can have lasting effects on physical and psychological well-being.

It's a good idea to acknowledge to your spouse that though she has no control over the markets, trading results or monthly income, you'll make the best financial decisions for your family, even if you only experience significant cyclical income. 

Acknowledge your spouse's well-being, because chances are, she may not be a trader or have any interest in the markets.

Take into Account Your Absorption in Trading

It's easy to gravitate back to your trading cave at any time of the day. While you're spending all your time in said cave, your spouse may be the only one providing a stable income and taking care of everything else. 

You may not realize it, but absorption can lead to conflict and resentment. 

Assume that it's your job to take on jobs around the house, pick up the kids, walk the dog and more. Ensure that you, together, have outlets for a release. It's easy to get sucked in, and remember that yes, you could spend 24/7 in front of the computer, but it's not healthy for you or anyone else. 

Encourage Your Spouse to Try Trading

Open an online brokerage account and teach her how to use the platform. (Encourage her not to feel daunted by the spaceship-looking dashboard.) Attend a trading seminar out of town for fun. Allow your spouse to set a budget and an earnings goal. Teach her how to use market orders and limit orders, practice with a virtual trading account and guide her through the process.

While you can’t guarantee returns or guarantee that you'll get your spouse interested in trading, it will at least give her a glimpse into your world. Hopefully, she'll realize the stakes and why your income can look so irregular or cyclical in nature.

You May Not Realize the Stress Your Spouse Carries

Reading this with your wife in mind? Finally, remember that women outlive men. Your wife may worry about what will happen when you're no longer around. What will become of her financial future when results aren't guaranteed and you haven't received the traditional employee match with a regular job? Truth be told, she may worry about her own financial future. (Two words: life insurance!)

Do your best to make sure that amid market trends and volatility, and when some years end up being more lean than others, that you have a plan. Invite your spouse into your world, if only to teach the basics.